I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
