You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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