Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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