I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
