Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Vodka?
Forever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize