After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
