he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
