just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Still dying that you shit outside
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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