I heard we made out
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
