I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
