Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
