"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
