maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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