you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
