He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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