Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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