I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
