i just google imaged poop.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
