Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
