Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
