I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize