I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
