This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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