whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
