So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
