PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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