Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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