bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
