if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
