Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize