Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
