last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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