HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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