And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize