I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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