When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
