a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
