Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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