I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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