do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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