Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
