Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
