Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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