I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
