Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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