Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
