If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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