i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
