I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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