Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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