I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
