I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
