It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize