Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize