Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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