They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
