I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i barfeds in our rink
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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