yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
